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Mix the flour into the butter and whisk until it gets golden colored and smells less like flour. This will be a couple of minutes or longer based on your stove (my stove is insanely hot so I tend to err on the side of lower heat on the dial and letting things take an extra minute or two if necessary)Warm up the milk in a pot (low heat, stir it a bit to keep the milk on the bottom from overcooking)butter pot one ladle at a time and whisk to incorporate the milk into the flour-butter. At first the milk will get absorbed and it will look like a custard / oatmeal / something about that consistency, but eventually the milk will stop being absorbed. Keeping ladling milk and whisking until all the milk is in the butter-flour pot.